feat: add commentary

Cargo.lock

@@ -1149,6 +1149,15 @@ version = "0.2.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "439ee305def115ba05938db6eb1644ff94165c5ab5e9420d1c1bcedbba909391"
 
+[[package]]
+name = "ppv-lite86"
+version = "0.2.21"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "85eae3c4ed2f50dcfe72643da4befc30deadb458a9b590d720cde2f2b1e97da9"
+dependencies = [
+ "zerocopy",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "proc-macro-error-attr2"
 version = "2.0.0"
@@ -1203,6 +1212,35 @@ version = "5.3.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "69cdb34c158ceb288df11e18b4bd39de994f6657d83847bdffdbd7f346754b0f"
 
+[[package]]
+name = "rand"
+version = "0.9.2"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "6db2770f06117d490610c7488547d543617b21bfa07796d7a12f6f1bd53850d1"
+dependencies = [
+ "rand_chacha",
+ "rand_core",
+]
+
+[[package]]
+name = "rand_chacha"
+version = "0.9.0"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "d3022b5f1df60f26e1ffddd6c66e8aa15de382ae63b3a0c1bfc0e4d3e3f325cb"
+dependencies = [
+ "ppv-lite86",
+ "rand_core",
+]
+
+[[package]]
+name = "rand_core"
+version = "0.9.3"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "99d9a13982dcf210057a8a78572b2217b667c3beacbf3a0d8b454f6f82837d38"
+dependencies = [
+ "getrandom",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "rc-box"
 version = "1.3.0"
@@ -1705,8 +1743,9 @@ dependencies = [
  "dotenv",
  "futures",
  "infer",
- "once_cell",
+ "rand",
  "regex",
+ "serde",
  "teloxide",
  "tempfile",
  "thiserror 2.0.16",

Cargo.toml

@@ -11,8 +11,9 @@ color-eyre = "0.6"
 dotenv = "0.15"
 futures = "0.3.31"
 infer = "0.19"
-once_cell = "1.21.3"
+rand = "0.9"
 regex = "1.11"
+serde = { version = "1.0", features = ["derive"] }
 teloxide = { version = "0.17", features = ["macros"] }
 tempfile = "3"
 thiserror = "2.0"

comments.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,141 @@
+P-foking-18. Again. Are we even trying?
+The car is a piece of shit. What do you want from me? A miracle?
+He missed the apex by a foking mile. Was he looking at the birds?
+We have the pace of a foking milk float. Honestly.
+Did we put fuel in the car? It looks like he is pushing it.
+This is not a qualifying lap, this is a foking parade lap.
+Both of them! Not just one, both! Unbelievable.
+Tomorrow we start from the back. At least we cannot go further back.
+What was that? He braked in the wrong foking country.
+The data says we should be faster. The data is a foking liar.
+What the fok was that strategy? Did we let a fan decide?
+Tell him to shut up and drive the foking car.
+A 5-second pitstop? Are we having a picnic out there?
+He’s complaining about graining? The race foking started two laps ago!
+Blue flags! Just get out of the foking way! We are not racing him!
+The deg is foking ridiculous on this tyre. Box. Now.
+Don't tell me about the gap. I can see the gap. It's getting foking bigger.
+Why is he fighting him? He will destroy the tyres for nothing!
+Fok, we look like a bunch of wankers.
+Is the engine on fire? No? Then tell him to keep foking pushing.
+So, to summarize: the start was shit, the middle was shit, and the end was shit.
+We scored zero points. Again. I am not even angry, I am just… tired.
+Who is responsible for this? Everyone. Everyone is foking responsible.
+Do not show me the positives. There are no foking positives today.
+We got lapped. Twice. By a Sauber. A FOKING SAUBER.
+Next race we try something new: we try to be less shit.
+This performance was unacceptable. Go home, think about it.
+I need a drink. Or maybe five drinks.
+Don't talk to me. Honestly, nobody talk to me for an hour.
+We are the slowest foking team on the grid. Fact.
+Look at that! He foksmashed the car. Again.
+That's another 200,000 dollars. Fok. Gene is going to love this.
+What a foking idiot. He had the whole track to himself.
+Are you okay? ... *[long pause]* ... Okay. Now, what the fok happened?
+The suspension is gone, the wing is gone... he brought back half a car.
+He is a foking rockstar for crashing.
+Was the wall moving? I don't think so.
+He blames the car. Of course he blames the foking car.
+Two drivers, one corner. And now, zero foking cars.
+Get the spare parts. All of them. We will need them.
+You saw the race, no? Why are you asking me? It was shit.
+We are not here to be last. But today, we are. So, what is your question?
+Yes, it was a fantastic result. We finished. That is the highlight.
+The drivers did their best. Their best was just not very good.
+We need a bigger budget, a better car, and maybe some foking luck.
+I am not going to stand here and say we are happy. We are foking not.
+Next year will be better. It cannot be foking worse.
+He is a young driver. He makes mistakes. Expensive, foking stupid mistakes.
+Why did we pit then? Because the crystal ball was broken today.
+Look, we are a small team. We do our best. Sometimes our best is just shit.
+The gearbox is foked. Just foked.
+It's not smoke, it's 'unscheduled pyrotechnics'.
+We build a car for a whole year and a foking $10 sensor fails.
+Engine problem. Of course. It's a Ferrari engine, what do you expect?
+Hydraulics are gone. Park the foking thing before it burns.
+It just went 'bang'. A very expensive 'bang'.
+He says he has no power. Tell him welcome to my foking world.
+The brakes failed. FOKING BRAKES. That is not a small problem.
+Something is loose in the cockpit. I hope it's not his foking brain.
+This part should last 5 races. It lasted 5 laps.
+This is not a foking kindergarten.
+We need to pull our foking finger out. Now.
+Honestly, some days I think I'd be happier farming. At least the potatoes don't crash.
+Everyone is a wanker until they prove otherwise.
+I don't have time for this bullshit.
+Focus. Just foking focus on your job.
+Hope is not a strategy.
+This sport will give you a foking heart attack.
+If you don't want pressure, go sell ice cream.
+Sometimes you just have to say 'fok it'.
+I am surrounded by foking idiots.
+What are we doing here? Seriously, what is the foking point?
+No more excuses. I am sick of the foking excuses.
+It is what it is. A foking mess.
+This is racing. It's brutal.
+Right. Last race was shit. This race, we will be less shit. Go.
+Do not fok this up. That is all I ask.
+Points. We need foking points. I don't care how.
+Drive like you foking mean it for once.
+Let's show them we are not a bunch of wankers.
+If you crash, don't foking call me.
+Be aggressive. Smart, but foking aggressive.
+Forget the pressure. Just drive the damn car.
+We are the underdog. Let's go bite someone in the foking ankles.
+Okay guys. Let's go have some fun... and by fun, I mean don't finish last.
+The catering is good today. That is the only good thing.
+He wants a new contract? Show me some foking results first.
+My patience is thinner than a foking razor blade right now.
+I need more coffee and less stupid people.
+This regulation change is a foking joke.
+Don't smile at me. We have nothing to smile about.
+Who designed this part? I want to have a word with him. A very loud word.
+Unbelievable. Just... foking unbelievable.
+For foks sake.
+I'm too old for this shit.
+Can we just go home now?
+Another day, another foking drama.
+The drivers' briefing was a waste of foking time.
+He is now officially a member of the wanker club.
+Everything is foked. Completely foked.
+Call Gene. Tell him... actually, don't foking call Gene.
+Narrator: It was not, in fact, fine.
+And at that moment, they knew... they messed up.
+My entire life is a series of these moments.
+Task failed successfully.
+I have so many questions, and all of them start with "why?"
+Well, that escalated quickly.
+This is fine. I'm okay with the events that are unfolding currently.
+We're all just one bad decision away from being in this video.
+Calculated. But man, am I bad at math.
+And the Darwin Award goes to...
+Me trying to get my life together.
+My last two brain cells trying to function.
+Monday hitting me like:
+Me pretending to be productive at work.
+My motivation leaving my body at 2 PM.
+Another meeting that could have been an email.
+Me running on 3 hours of sleep and 6 shots of espresso.
+Adulting is a scam.
+My bank account looking at me after I buy one (1) coffee.
+Me trying to follow a recipe.
+No thoughts, just vibes.
+The lights are on but nobody's home.
+He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.
+Someone come get their cat, it's broken.
+This is what peak performance looks like.
+Not a single thought behind those eyes.
+The internal monologue here must be fascinating.
+He understood the assignment.
+My spirit animal.
+What the dog doin?
+The internet was a mistake.
+This is my entire personality now.
+Just a normal day on planet Earth.
+Explain this in historical terms.
+The vibe I'm trying to bring into 2025.
+And I'll f*cking do it again.
+Zero chaos in this video. None at all.
+This has been living in my head rent-free.
+POV: You gave them one (1) ounce of confidence.
+I don't get paid enough for this shit.

src/comments.rs

@@ -0,0 +1,94 @@
+use crate::error::{Error, Result};
+use rand::{rng, seq::IndexedRandom};
+use std::{
+    path::Path,
+    sync::{Arc, OnceLock},
+};
+use tokio::fs::read_to_string;
+static DISCLAIMER: &str = "(Roleplay — fictional messages for entertainment.)";
+
+#[derive(Debug)]
+pub struct Comments {
+    pub disclaimer: String,
+    lines: Arc<Vec<String>>,
+}
+
+impl Comments {
+    /// Create a small dummy/default Comments instance (useful for tests or fallback).
+    #[must_use]
+    pub fn dummy() -> Self {
+        let lines = vec![
+            "Oh come on, that's brilliant — and slightly chaotic, like always.".into(),
+            "That is a proper bit of craftsmanship — then someone presses the red button.".into(),
+            "Nice shot — looks good on the trailer, not so good on the gearbox.".into(),
+            "Here you go. Judge for yourself.".into(),
+        ];
+        Self {
+            disclaimer: DISCLAIMER.into(),
+            lines: lines.into(),
+        }
+    }
+
+    /// Load comments from a plaintext file asynchronously.
+    ///
+    /// # Errors
+    ///
+    /// - Returns `Error::Io` if reading the file fails (propagated from
+    ///   `tokio::fs::read_to_string`).
+    /// - Returns `Error::Other` if the file contains no usable lines after
+    ///   filtering (empty or all-comment file).
+    pub async fn load_from_file<P: AsRef<Path>>(path: P) -> Result<Self> {
+        let s = read_to_string(path).await?;
+
+        let lines = s
+            .lines()
+            .map(str::trim)
+            .filter(|l| !l.is_empty() && !l.starts_with('#'))
+            .map(ToString::to_string)
+            .collect::<Vec<_>>();
+
+        if lines.is_empty() {
+            return Err(Error::other("comments file contains no usable lines"));
+        }
+
+        Ok(Self {
+            disclaimer: DISCLAIMER.into(),
+            lines: lines.into(),
+        })
+    }
+
+    /// Pick a random comment as &str (no allocation). Falls back to a small static
+    /// string if the list is unexpectedly empty.
+    #[must_use]
+    pub fn pick(&self) -> &str {
+        let mut rng = rng();
+        self.lines
+            .choose(&mut rng)
+            .map_or("Here you go.", String::as_str)
+    }
+
+    #[must_use]
+    #[inline]
+    pub fn build_caption(&self) -> String {
+        self.pick().to_string()
+    }
+}
+
+static GLOBAL_COMMENTS: OnceLock<Comments> = OnceLock::new();
+
+/// Initialize the global comments (call once at startup).
+///
+/// # Errors
+///
+/// - Returns `Error::Other` when the global is already initialized (the
+///   underlying `OnceLock::set` fails).
+pub fn init_global_comments(comments: Comments) -> Result<()> {
+    GLOBAL_COMMENTS
+        .set(comments)
+        .map_err(|_| Error::other("comments already initialized"))
+}
+
+/// Get global comments (if initialized). Returns Option<&'static Comments>.
+pub fn global_comments() -> Option<&'static Comments> {
+    GLOBAL_COMMENTS.get()
+}

src/error.rs

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ use thiserror::Error;
 #[derive(Debug, Error)]
 pub enum Error {
     #[error("io error: {0}")]
-    Io(#[from] std::io::Error),
+    Io(#[from] tokio::io::Error),
 
     #[error("instaloader failed: {0}")]
     InstaloaderFaileled(String),
@@ -24,4 +24,11 @@ pub enum Error {
     Other(String),
 }
 
+impl Error {
+    #[inline]
+    pub fn other(text: impl Into<String>) -> Self {
+        Self::Other(text.into())
+    }
+}
+
 pub type Result<T> = std::result::Result<T, Error>;

src/lib.rs

@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+pub mod comments;
 pub mod error;
 pub mod handlers;
 pub mod telemetry;

src/main.rs

@@ -2,10 +2,11 @@ use dotenv::dotenv;
 use std::sync::Arc;
 use teloxide::{Bot, prelude::Requester, respond, types::Message};
 use tg_relay_rs::{
+    comments::{Comments, init_global_comments},
     handlers::{InstagramHandler, SocialHandler},
     telemetry::setup_logger,
 };
-use tracing::{error, info};
+use tracing::{error, info, warn};
 
 #[tokio::main]
 async fn main() -> color_eyre::Result<()> {
@@ -13,6 +14,16 @@ async fn main() -> color_eyre::Result<()> {
     color_eyre::install().expect("color-eyre install");
     setup_logger();
 
+    let comments = Comments::load_from_file("comments.txt")
+        .await
+        .map_err(|e| {
+            warn!("failed to laod comments.txt: {}; using dummy comments", e);
+            e
+        })
+        .unwrap_or_else(|_| Comments::dummy());
+
+    init_global_comments(comments).expect("failed to initialize global comments");
+
     let bot = Bot::from_env();
     info!("bot starting");
 

src/utils.rs

@@ -1,15 +1,23 @@
-use crate::error::{Error, Result};
+use crate::{
+    comments::global_comments,
+    error::{Error, Result},
+};
 use std::{
     ffi::OsStr,
     path::{Path, PathBuf},
 };
 use teloxide::{
     Bot,
+    payloads::{SendPhotoSetters, SendVideoSetters},
     prelude::Requester,
     types::{ChatId, InputFile},
 };
 use tokio::{fs::File, io::AsyncReadExt};
 
+const TELEGRAM_CAPTION_LIMIT: usize = 1024;
+static VIDEO_EXTS: &[&str] = &["mp4", "webm", "mov", "mkv", "avi"];
+static IMAGE_EXTS: &[&str] = &["jpg", "jpeg", "png", "webp"];
+
 /// Simple media kind enum shared by handlers.
 #[derive(Debug, Clone, Copy, PartialEq, Eq)]
 pub enum MediaKind {
@@ -18,9 +26,6 @@ pub enum MediaKind {
     Unknown,
 }
 
-static VIDEO_EXTS: &[&str] = &["mp4", "webm", "mov", "mkv", "avi"];
-static IMAGE_EXTS: &[&str] = &["jpg", "jpeg", "png", "webp"];
-
 /// Detect media kind first by extension, then by content/magic (sync).
 /// NOTE: `infer::get_from_path` is blocking — use `detect_media_kind_async` in
 /// async contexts to avoid blocking the Tokio runtime.
@@ -94,14 +99,32 @@ pub async fn send_media_from_path(
     kind: Option<MediaKind>,
 ) -> Result<()> {
     let kind = kind.unwrap_or_else(|| detect_media_kind(&path));
+
+    let caption_opt = global_comments().map(|c| {
+        let mut caption = c.build_caption();
+        if caption.chars().count() > TELEGRAM_CAPTION_LIMIT {
+            caption = caption.chars().take(TELEGRAM_CAPTION_LIMIT - 1).collect();
+            caption.push_str("...");
+        }
+        caption
+    });
+
     match kind {
         MediaKind::Video => {
             let video = InputFile::file(path);
-            bot.send_video(chat_id, video).await.map_err(Error::from)?;
+            let mut req = bot.send_video(chat_id, video);
+            if let Some(c) = caption_opt {
+                req = req.caption(c);
+            }
+            req.await.map_err(Error::from)?;
         }
         MediaKind::Image => {
             let photo = InputFile::file(path);
-            bot.send_photo(chat_id, photo).await.map_err(Error::from)?;
+            let mut req = bot.send_photo(chat_id, photo);
+            if let Some(c) = caption_opt {
+                req = req.caption(c);
+            }
+            req.await.map_err(Error::from)?;
         }
         MediaKind::Unknown => {
             bot.send_message(chat_id, "No supported media found")